The Accident

This story happened about 15 years ago when I was staying in Pattaya for a year and teaching English about 10kms, east of SriRacha.

The scars of battle are worn proudly by all Thai males as symbols of their machismo, their daring and their bravery. It is rare to see a teenager that doesn't have enduring marks on his body or at least bandages indicating he has successfully completed one of the cultural passages into Thai manhood. Most adult Thais can point to similar long-faded badges on their bodies. Anyone who can display a scar or injury and proudly say "rotmotorsy" is given a sympathetic, knowing smile and the respect due one who has suffered. It was inevitable that I, too, would join that august fraternity.

The day started pretty much as usual. I awoke before the alarm's scheduled buzz at 7:00 a.m. The sweet scented morning breeze lifted the curtains slightly as it passed through the room. It felt cooler than usual which often meant that there would be some rain later in the day. As I stretched beneath the single sheet my foot bumped into something soft and warm and familiar. Rolling over I saw Thep splayed across our queen size bed. How could one person take up so much of the bed? Thinking how happy I was, I brushed his black hair from his forehead, gently kissed his cheek and slid out of bed leaving him with his dreams.

I slipped on my shorts and when out the front door of the apartment and onto the huge communal balcony from which I could look down seven floors to the pool and patio below. There was San doing morning laps before leaving for his accounting job. Ignoring pangs of guilt, I decided not to go for my usual swim as I wanted to leave for work early this morning. Because of the excitement and extra entertainment at the "Crazy Bar" last night I was too tired to finish preparing the materials for “the phrase game” I planned for the engineering group today. I would do that once I got to work.

Back in the apartment I opened the door to the rear, private balcony and let the morning sunshine light up the room. Above the neighboring school yard a smoky haze from the numerous charcoal cookers accompanied the aromas of cooking fish and noodles for the morning meal. I flicked on CNN while making my usual breakfast of a peanut butter and jam sandwich washed down with a cup of instant coffee. I slipped off my shorts and took my dishes into the washroom and placed them with the others dishes stacked beneath the shower. There was no  kitchen but we had discovered that the dishes would eventually come clean if they shared a shower or two, or three, or more with us. I turned on the single tap and waited for the cool water to wake me up completely. The apartment had no hot water. But when you took your shower in the afternoon or evening then the water would often be warm as it was stored in tanks on the roof.

I was able to dress casually as my "teacher's" clothes were in my locker at Siam-Nissan Casting Company. My rain-gear had to be put into my pack along with the teaching materials that I needed for the day. I wiped the visor of my helmet, put Thep's daily allowance of 120 bhat on the table and made ready to leave.

"Good morning". Thep groaned as he rolled over and stretched.

"Good morning puean phom", I replied, "How are you this morning".

"I am fine thank you. How are you?" he said in his stilted but well practiced English. "You go work now?"

"Yes, I am going to work. Phom glap see mung bai." (I will return at 4 o-clock.)

Thep reached out his arms and wiggled his fingers in a gesture for me to come to him. He wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me a good morning good-bye kiss. I looked at him wondering to myself why I was so lucky.

"Sawadee krap." I said as I picked up my pack, keys and helmet and left. I took the elevator to the main floor and walked through the lobby to the parking lot in front of the building where my trusty steed awaited. The powerful, 80 c.c. Yamaha BelleR motorcycle. This, and the ones produced by the other Asian manufacturers, are truly amazing machines. In Thailand they can carry five people or one’s entire household assets. There is a repair shop every two hundred meters anywhere in the country. Repairs are cheap. Replacing an inner tube on the rear tire costs from 60 to 100 bhat or less than $5. These repair shops have everything. I am sure that if you had only a small piece of the right rear-view mirror left of the entire bike and told the repairman, "Here, I think my bike is broken." He would reply that there was no problem, he could fix it. They are great on gas and terrible in the rain.





With my helmet on, sunglasses set and my pack on my back I bounced off down the pot-holed road towards the Sukumwit Highway and towards, - forty minutes later - fifteen engineers eager to improve their English.

Sukumwit Highway runs from the center of Bangkok east and south along the eastern seaboard. Judging by newspaper accounts, it must be the countries number one death road. On paper it's two lanes each way, divided by a median in places and with paved shoulders. Should be no problem. However the Thais have decided that the two lanes are wide enough for three cars to travel abreast at most times. The paved shoulder is perfect for driving a short distance against the traffic instead of crossing to the correct side. Thai drivers have a unwritten law that under no circumstances should any vehicle stop moving especially when coming out of a side street, lane, gas station or parking lot. That is unless you want to park to go into a store, then it is the norm to park anywhere - even the middle of the street or highway. Driving defensively only results in creating problems so new drivers quickly learn to become aggressive maniacs while behind the wheel.

Thank goodness I only need to travel about 8 kilometers before I turned inland onto Highway 31 heading to Rayong. Another 10 klicks and I turned left onto the nicest piece of road on the whole journey.


This is two pave lanes of gentle curves and hills that winds its way through lush forests and green farmlands. It's a Harley-Davidson dream world. Here you can relax, swaying gently through the curves, enjoying the cooling wind that billows your jacket and taking in the exotic tropical smells of the Thai countryside. There are two problems that require attention. First, around any corner you may encounter a water-buffalo strolling along the road. They do not take kindly to motorcycles. Second, about half way along there are two, vehicle-eating potholes whose proximity to each other are strategically placed to test anyone's reflexes. Coming from the west, as I was, the first pothole is between the non-paved shoulder and the middle of your lane making it imperative that you move to the center line to avoid disaster. The second is about 4 meters further on and takes a large bite out of most of the on-coming lane. These are not such great impediments for a vehicle with four wheels but for a Honda Dream traveling at 70 kph, they are to be evaded at all costs.

Like most experienced Thai cyclists, I had memorized every menacing pothole on all my usual routes. Therefore when I came around the sweeping curve before the perilous pits, I was half dreaming of my next days off as the motorcycle automatically drifted to the center line to skirt the initial hole. I even noticed the ubiquitous Toyoto pick-up barreling towards me in his proper lane. Now in Thailand, the rule of the road is, anything bigger has absolute right of way over anything smaller. In fact anything smaller can be considered not there. Therefore on seeing the pothole before him the Toyoto swerved over to take up half of my lane. Instantly I moved to give him room only to realized that I was perfectly lined up on the first chasm and was about to experience the thrill of motor-cross.

Many days later, after reliving the accident many times, I believe that if I had stayed the course and flown straight across the pothole, I probably would have exited unscathed or possibly with only a flat front tire. But in my inexperience, I jammed on both the front and rear brakes without noticing the thin layer of gravel covering the road. Immediately I realized the error of my ways as the bike slid out from under me and my brilliant mind told the rest of my body to tense up and prepare for a bumpy ride.

The human body is an amazing thing. About 20 seconds are gone from my life and what must have been a very painful event never registered. The first thing I noticed was someone moaning in a frantic attempt to restore air to lungs devoid of oxygen. Slowly came the realization that it was me doing the moaning. I heard other sounds of concerned people around me, which made me concentrate on ceasing my moans for fear of embarrassment. I opened my eyes to a small crowd obviously anxious about this farang. With their help, I began to sit up and with as much dignity as I could muster, I said, "Mai mee bhen hah. Phom sabhai." (No problem, I'm okay.") They picked up the Yamaha and I immediately climbed on it still not really sure of what I was doing. As the bike did not have electric ignition, I had to use the kick start but without any success. My eyes were still not focusing. One of the onlookers used his foot and got the motor running. Thanking them all profusely I road off towards work.

I got around the next bend and realized that my eyes were still not focusing and there was something wrong with my helmet so I slowed to a stop at the road's edge.

As I unbuckled and lifted the helmet, pain shot through my head. I touched my right temple and again the pain struck. I looked at the helmet and saw where some of the road was still imbedded and the visor had become detached. From then on any thoughts of riding without wearing a brain-bucket was gone. It was then that I realized that there were other parts of my body that were reporting damage. I was bleeding from scraps to my shoulder, lower arm and leg. My shirt and pants were torn. I looked and felt a mess. But somewhere in my foggy brain I convinced myself to carry on to my waiting engineers.

I started off down the road but soon had little idea of where I was. I recognized no landmarks. Nothing seemed familiar. What road was I on anyways? Proceeding on further I came to an intersection I should have known but I couldn't decide which way to turn. I chose left, still not recognizing anything. "We must be going the wrong way." my half-functioning brain decided and promptly I turned around to retrace the route. Ten minutes later the gray matter reversed this decision and so back the other way I went. This time I was determined to proceed. After ten long minutes my mind began to clear and I gratefully acknowledged that I was heading in the right direction.

Arriving at work, I slipped unnoticed into the locker room and changed into my dress pants, shirt and tie after wrapping my wounds in several metres of toilet paper. This I would regret later that evening. Needless to say neither the engineers nor the students in my other classes received my best lessons that day but at least I got through it without anyone noticing evidence of my accident. Oh, the pride some people have.

Arriving home, Thep was caring and sympathetic though I could tell he was chuckling inside over the fact that I had now become a real road warrior. The next day I did the Thai thing and wore my white, sterile badges proudly and eagerly told and retold the experience many times. Even now, as I am writing this in Toronto, I feel twinges of a Horatio Alger complex. And I miss the excitement of "tooley trucking" along the exotic byways of the Land of Smiles.

First Visit to Thailand - 1989

First time I came on a 14 day Cathay Pacific tour. Three days in Hong Kong then Bangkok.

My initial impressions were the same. Heat, humidity, smelly and sweaty. It's not going to be fun. The tour booked me a single at the Asia Hotel. The room was unbelievably small with a bed smaller than a twin size. Each floor had a matron that sat at a desk beside the elevator. How could you have fun here??

I had read Sparticus travel book and memorized the gay area of Pat Pong. During the day I went to look for the gay bars but, of course everything looks different during the day. At night (8:00pm) I ended up in the girly bar area...nervous and lost. The gay books had warned not to go with a tout but when one asked me if I wanted a boy, desperation won over caution. We walked a long way to a bar and went in. It was too early and there were only a couple of boys there neither of which appealed to me. The tout suggested another bar so I paid the exorbitant bill and off we went.

We came to the top of a soi where the tout turned. I stopped. It was very dark. I asked where? He pointed to a glimmer far down the soi. Everything told me, NO, except my groin which had taken over common sense. We arrived at Lucky 7 and went up the narrow stairs. The room was so dark except for the stage where 9 of the most gorgeous specimens of youth danced in their briefs.

The tout led me to a couch and drinks were ordered. I was mezmerised by the beauty of the boys...one imparticular...number 11. He smiled at me and I smiled back and he immediately jumped off the stage and sat next to me. He took my hand an put it on his thigh and I was in paradise. My breathing was so shallow, I felt a constriction in my chest. This can't be real. Nothing in the world was smoother or softer than his skin. His hands, his sniff kisses, his body movements, his endearments, transported me. I would have sold my soul immediately if the devil had promised this moment would last.

The tout asked if I wanted to off the boy and take him to a room upstairs. Yes! YES! YES! Oh but how much. He talked with the mamasan then said it would be 2000 bhat...everything included, off fee, room, drinks. Not the tip for the boy.

Now I had read not to take more money with you than you planned to spend. I had read the typical cost for a boy and had only brought that. Why was it so expensive? (1989) "Do you take Visa?", I asked meakly.

Oh, the disappointment. We finished the drinks. I reluctantly let go of the boy and gave him a small tip and I went out into the dark soi - shattered...searching for a cold shower.

The next night I was back at Lucky7 at opening with my wallet bulging. When I entered the room, number 11 raced over and embarassed me is a most erotic way. My ego soared to unheard of heights as well as other parts. We took up where we left off the night before. I told the mamasan I wanted the to off the boy and reminded her of the 2000 baht fee. She stared for a moment then said Oh yes...that's right.

Upstairs the room was very dark. We shower together then took to bed and it was glorious. I think I was 5 seconds away from a major heart attack when we both "finished". We cuddled for an additional 20 minutes before showering and returning to the bar.

When we sat down another gorgeous boy sat with us. I became the center of an erotic sandwich. Number 11 introduce is friend and asked if I wanted to off him. Without hesitation, I said Yes and up the stairs we went...money be damned...heart attack be damned...anyway, I had sold my soul the night before.

Too soon it came time to pay the bill. I picked up the cup and the boy grabbed the bill to total it up. He hesitated then showed it to his friend. They both frowned at me. "Paeng mak" He whispered to me what the drinks, the off and the room should cost. When the mamasan came over, I gave her 2000baht. She argued, but I said the bar was ripping me off and the 2000 was more than enough...or maybe the tourist police could mediate. She acquiessed.

I over tipped the boys and said goodbye because the next day the tour took me to Pattaya and surely nothing could compare to Lucky 7.

I was wrong! But nothing will erase every detail of that night in Lucky 7 and my first Thai love, number 11.

Dining With Thais

Senario 1 - One evening I was sitting at the Sunee Plaza Bar (Green Bar) when a young Thai aquaintence joined me for a drink. After about 10 minutes, I asked him if he was hungry thinking we could go and get a bite to eat. "Mai hue," he answered. I ordered another round of drinks. A couple of minutes later he got up and said he would come back then gave me that questioning look of 'Are you going to be here when I return?' I assured him I was not going anywhere soon.

He returned with a styro container of brown crumbly meat, flaked with red and green chillis, a small package of sticky rice and a handful of sprigs from some bushes and grasses. For someone who was not hungry, he ate quite a bit.






Senario 2 - With another Thai friend we were returning from an early movie at Big C and he announced he was hungry. He was able to effect that sorrowful, pained expression while rubbing his stomach. I had to admit I was hungry as well and suggested we go to the White Knight Buffet Restaurant (when it was a buffet). He readily agreed but added he had never been there before. I was thrilled because I love introducing young Thais to something new and I knew the food was excellent.

At the buffet, he went straight to the Thai dishes. I stopped him and strongly suggested he try the spicy ginger squash soup first. He put a small amount in a bowl and returned to the table. His face lit up when he tried it...he loved it...he finished it. I had to explain to him that at the buffet he could get as much as he wanted. I told him to go and get some more soup if he wanted. He returned with a meagur plate of Thai food.

I went and got a big plate of the sliced pork, special vegetables and their delicious salad items. At the table, he had finished his food so I put a slice of pork and other on his plate. He protested a little but began to eat. He said he enjoyed it and ate it all. I told him to go and get some more. "Mai hue," he answered. I went and got my seconds. He said he did not want dessert but I got enough samples for the both of us and he ate his share.
This happened with another boy I took there so I never invited another Thai to an all you can eat buffet.





Senario 3 - It was my last night in Pattaya and Thai friend I have known for 14 years suggest we go to the Lobster Pot on the walking street. Three of us went. The menu is huge and I was taking time to find the dishes I would like. My friend was speaking to the waiter. I asked his friend and him what they would like. He simply pointed to my menu and told me to choose. I selected a lobster platter, 2 other fish dishes and a specialty rice .

When the food started to arrive, I quickly realized there were a lot more dishes than I ordered. Then it dawned on me that my friend had ordered several dishes when talking to the waiter. Even after 14 years, communication can be a problem. Needless to say we ate well but a lot was returned to the kitchen.

One of the challenges is effective communication with Thai boys about eating.

Jame Sees The Ocean�Part 1

This is another report on my adventures with my sponsor child, Jame, and the commune. More than any other, this relationship fills my heart on each visit to Thailand.

JAME

The NGO group has now left Jame�s village as their work has resulted in the commune being self-sufficient with the projects created and a little assistance from the Thai government. Kudos for their efforts.

THE COMMUNE AT HOME

When I arrived in Pattaya last March for my 3 month stay, I was wondering when I should schedule a visit to the village. Songkran was in April and Jame�s birthday was in May. For some reason I was not excited about the hassles of renting a car, organizing the trip and dealing with the police toll blockades. My ever-wise, friend Noi suggested bringing Jame to Pattaya. He told me that Jame had never seen the ocean � in fact none of the commune had ever seen the ocean. I immediately loved the idea with the thought that there would be little to organize. Wrong�but that realization came after the fact.

Quickly Noi was on the phone to the commune with the idea that I would welcome 6 people to Pattaya. Apparently they were over themselves eager to come. I knew there were 4 children in the commune and suggested that 2 adults could accompany them.   Noi asked them when it could be arranged for them to come. �Tomorrow� was the response. They were serious but we negotiated for the following week.

 MY APARTMENT

I was beside myself with excitement. Just imaging; 6 people from a small village visiting the city by the sea for the first time. The opportunities were far too numerous and had to be selected carefully. I reserved a large room for them in my apartment building just down the hall from my room. It is situated on the edge of Sunee therefore any planning included avoiding as much of shocking parts of Pattaya as possible. I drew up a budget which made me realize that this could cost me more than I first thought and more than the usual visit to the village but I was determined to give them a holiday of memories that would last forever.

First there were several items to buy. Extra bedding, mats, pillows, soap, shampoo, stock the refrigerator, extra plates and bowls and on and on. I bought 4 bathing suits for the children hoping I got the sizes and style right. I also invited Noi�s family to join the activities. His son, Neung, is the same age as Jame and they have become very close friends from other visits to the village. Noi arranged a bank transfer to the commune�s bank account so they would have money for the trip to Pattaya.

 

They arrived outside my apartment at 4 in the afternoon. I really have to improve my communication skills. There was Jame and 7 adults from the commune. Eight instead of six. I was disappointed that the other kids didn�t get to come. However I was surprised and happy to see that Jame�s grandmother and her sister made the trip but I wondered how these two mobility-challenged elders would handle the planned adventures. In fact I needn�t have worried as the two seem to revert to their childhood and kept me amused the entire time.

Due to the fact that they lived 30 minutes away, Noi decided that his family would stay in the apartment as well. The room was large but not that large. In the end Noi, his son, Jame, and Amm would stay in my room. Who is Amm you might ask? Soon after the commune arrived the son of one of the commune members arrived accompanied by their son Amm. The man and wife lived and worked in Pattaya but their son stayed at home with the grandparents. Amm was one of the children I had invited.

IN THEIR ROOM

BOYS SLEEPING IN MY ROOM

 

If you�re not keeping track of how the numbers have deviated from the original 6, here�s a tally. Eight from the commune, 5 from Noi�s family (including Tom the Terrible Toddler of Tepprasit), 3 from Amm�s family and myself. Total�17. Budget shot!

The commune was exhausted from the eight hour trip from Chum Phae in the back of a neighbour�s pick-up. Noi�s wife went to the local market for Issan food while I introduced them to the unlimited choices of cable TV, the air conditioner, the kitchen appliances, a farang toilet and the hot water shower. Immediately the shower was running continuously for the next hour. I gave out some small gifts I had including the bathing suits for the children. Because the young girl had not come, I jokingly handed Jame the bathing suit meant for her. Rather than rejecting it, he broke into a huge, mischievous grin I have come to love and he began to pull on the suit. All of the built up nervousness and stress of this new and overwhelming situation was shattered in gales of laughter. Young Jame brought us together again.

 

Then Gun arrived with a ton of food and that, with the variety of refreshments I had stocked the refrigerator, provided the incredients for a great party punctuated with happy conversation. Quickly I knew the budget would be relegated to insignificance.

Bedtime came early as would morning rising because they had not yet seen the ocean.

MORE TO COME IN PART 2

Jame Sees the Ocean Part 2

Jame Sees The Ocean   Part 2 An excited bunch of boys woke me up at 6:00am the next morning. The commune�s apartment had been awake since 5. I accompanied two of the ladies a few blocks to the market where they bought food for the morning meal. They were almost overwhelmed with the variety of food on sale. Quickly it became apparent that the readily available seafood was going to be a staple for the next few days. Breakfast came to less than 500 baht. One of the boys tried my cooked oatmeal with brown sugar and cinnamon and liked it. Once the rooms were cleaned and showers finished all thought turned to the day�s trip to Jomtien and the ocean. Noi commandeered a songtaow for the 10 minute trip to the beach. We didn�t go to Dongtan Beach rather further down to the Thai areas. The tide was going out so the beach was huge. Big smiles and widened eyes dominated the adult�s facial expressions but all we saw of the kids was their backsides rushing across the sand to the water.   I had forewarned the strolling vender who sold fresh cooked shrimp, prawns and oysters that our group would be interested in his seafood. Several platters were spread out on the tables. Noi distributed 100 baht to each person so they could purchase other items from the venders.   A banana boat ride was a must even though it was scary at first. We were there until nearly sundown and no one seemed eager to leave.   The next day we decided to take the ferry to Koh Larn. The night before, to spare my budget, I mentioned to Noi that we should take as much food and drink with us as it is quite expensive there. I packed my lunch in my bag but the instructions did not make it to the commune. Certainly Noi made sure the whisky and soda were there but little else. Discovering this failure of communication, I realized I had not brought enough money with me. I gave what money I had to Noi and left it for him to plan a strategy. The beauty of the place, the beach and the water made any problem seen small. Sea life mesmerized everyone but especially the boys.  A whole new world to be discovered.   One of the most rewarding moments for me was when grandmother and sister rose from their loungers, held hands and, fully clothed, walked slowly into the sea where they remain for almost 2 hours.   Clever Noi quietly came up with a wonderful solution to the money problem. He found a small store, bought some fishing line, barbequed meat and hooks and, using short bamboo shoots, rigged up 6 crude fishing lines. He led a contingent into the sea near some rocks and showed the boys how to jig their lines. Excitement echoed across the water and the first of many small fish were caught within a minute.  After an hour there were enough fish in the plastic bag to feed the multitude. Using a couple of knifes I had in my backpack the ladies prepared the fish while the grandmothers scowered the shore line for savoury leaves to stuff in the fish. A fire was built among some rocks and the fish were cooked on sticks. Sticky rice and some sauce was all that we needed to complete the meal Again the resourcefulness of the Thai people amazed me. The �feast� was delicious.   It was a very contented group that rode the ferry home.   That night the boys experienced another first. At a nearby restaurant, I showed the boys how to play pool. The men had snuck out with Noi to a beer bar and the ladies were engrossed in the Thai soap operas on TV. I never thought about it at the time but no one seem to bat an eye at this old farang out in Pattaya with 3 young boys.   Other days found us at Pattaya Park and Nakula WongAmart Beach. One evening some of us went bowling and on another we went to Big C central to attend a Thai movie�all things not available in their village.  Riding up and down the escalators seemed better than any amusement park ride. The Friday Market on Soi Buakow was a big hit. Again Noi dole out my money to each person to buy a few things for themselves.   All the time Jame accepted his role as entertainer. His mind works in marvellously creative ways. I am so grateful to be able to be part of his development.   On the fifth day a mix up in transportation back to Chum Phae cause a one day extension which didn�t bother anyone much. Just more time to spend in the ocean. It�s hard to say who got the most out of this adventure but I know my heart swells every time I think of it. I can�t wait for the next time I will get to enjoy the company of Jame and the commune.

Birthday Party

Birthday

Nothing makes me smile more than joining young Thai guys in their fun and I�m happy to pay for the experience. A few nights ago one of my Thai friends was celebrating his birthday and I was asked to come along. Many jaded individuals may suggest that, in reality, it wasn�t me but my wallet which interested him. I understand this; however, if everyone plays their expected roles, I am willing to pay.

It was the birthday boy�s best friend that first reminded me that the special day was coming up. I asked what he thought the birthday boy wanted to do. Of course I got the usual answer, �Up to you�. Quickly we decided that a night out with a few of his friends would be best. I told the friend that I would give him 3000 baht and he could arrange, organize and pay for the evening. He was unsure at first but, after thinking about it, I think he was excited about that status the responsibility would bring. And I was happy not the have to worry about anything.

At 1:00am, when the bars closed, those invited gathered in front of Duc�s Caf� Bar. Many others suspected a party was in the works and were looking for an invite. A couple of good friends of mine appeared so I asked the organizer if they could come along. He agreed and I slipped him an additional 500 baht to cover their expenses.

We all jumped on a fleet of motorcycles and made our way through a sudden rainstorm up 2nd Road left on Pattaya Klang where we turned into a small soi to find a new gay disco called Dave Man Club. This is a smart looking gay disco with many handsome Coyote dancers performing around the room. The music is loud and current. Around 3:00am there�s a lip-sync show then, later, a sex show. I had brought a small cake with candles, some balloons, some glitter and a plastic tiara and wand for the birthday boy/girl � all of which created much fun and laughter. At the height of things, I counted 14 celebrants around our table.










Around 3:30am we took off to a place called TNT. It�s a small, lively, karaoke bar located one soi over from Two Guys Guest House towards 3rd Road. We were served some kind of fruit punch served in pitchers that was very tasty. We also had a half bottle of whisky left over from the disco. This was a very friendly and active place and the boys enjoyed the karaoke.







About and hour later, 8 of us made our way to a place on Soi Bongkok called Swarn (I think). It�s a series of huts over water where you can order Thai food and enjoy? more karaoke. Another bottle of whisky was ordered and some delicious food arrived. By this time the party was quite raucous and loud but a lot of fun. Once while I was dancing, I looked across the water and was surprised to see the dawn breaking. The night had passed so quickly.








By 7:00am I was tucked up in my bed with a special guy happy with the night�s events. The organizer did a great job and at no time did he come to me for additional money. That night I noticed he was at his doorman position sharing the remaining whisky with the other workers on the street.

Another great time for an old 65 year old. Thank you Thailand.

Manning the Barricades

Manning the Barricades

On this deceptively quiet Sunday afternoon in May, a small band of 3 committed and 1 pseudo revolutionaries departed the hot pleasure dome by the sea and ventured into the heart of the big mango to join thousands of compatriots. Disguised as two farang tourists with their young, innocent Thai friends from the plaza of sin, these brave men hired a taxi to carry them to the secluded meeting ground behind a particularly beautiful wat in Bangkok. The small band was lead by the nefarious Small Family Guy (SFG) from Sattahip and the world renowned Crazy Man (CM) from the foreign land of Elizabeth. A young handsome neophyte, to be henceforth known as Khun ItchyBum and his protector, the as yet uncommitted Duck, rounded out the team. This day, which started as a benign afterthought, was to prove a test to the endurance and fortitude of these men.









Arriving at the chosen wat, The Four join the constant flow of believers through the grounds of the beautiful temple and down a dusty road to the encampment. They stopped at the first tent to doff their disguises and purchase the blood shirts and clappers that would help them assimilate into the growing throng of similarly clad brethren although it was impossible for the two farangs truly hide. Nevertheless they were heartily welcomed on all sides; hailed by the men and offered wedlock by several the women. The Four easily passed through the check point and bag search. It was at this point the farangs paused to enjoy the sight of so many handsome men in uniform only to be warned by their young compatriots that these may not be friendlies and aggressive ogling should be discouraged.







A lush green plot not too close the stage was selected by Duck much to the disappointment of SFG who desired to sit as near the booming black boxes and his talking heroes as possible. The group settled down on plastic sheets to bask in the sun, await the opening speeches, enjoy the music, acknowledge the many well-wishers and be surrounded by and ever swelling red multitude. They were so enchanted that they failed to recognize the threat of gathering clouds, distant flashes of light and the many vendors hawking umbrellas.

Almost as if orchestrated by opposing powers, as soon as the first orator began to rally the crowd, the sky began to relieve itself. ItchyBum tried to accuse the leaders of another colour of using royal technology in seeding the atmosphere. Umbrellas were purchased and The Four hunkered down to wait out the 15 minute shower as proclaimed by the ever-optimistic SFG. Fifteen minutes later the heavy rain was driven sideways by a howling gale. Lightening flashed all around and crashes of thunder jolted their very souls. They huddled together while the umbrellas and plastic proved useless against such power. All around the plot of green the waters began to rise but the multitude continued to arrive. The field soon became a slough of mud 10cms deep. And still the dedicated trudged in to take up positions.







After 30 minutes the storm slackened to a gentle rain and The Four began to assess the situation. The stage was in taters. A large light standard had been blown over. No piece of clothing was dry and the stalwart CM began to declare his immense displeasure at soddened blue jeans and mud-caked shoes. He immediately began to demand where in this open field he could buy a pair of pants and some flip-flops but his whining was lost in the crowds tumultuous cheers as some brave dignitaries forsake their vehicles and strolled, unprotected, through the adoring masses to the stage. Both SFG and ItchyBum were inspired and nothing was going to move them from the spot. Duk took CM�s hand and began to lead him back through the throng on a desperate search for fresh clothes.







Back on the street there were no clothing shops to be seen but a small cafe was found that sold beer thus CM was calmed for the moment. While CM revived his courage, Duck continued the search down the soi which was packed with arriving vehicles. He managed to find a small shop where he was able to purchase flip-flops and a large pair of floral shorts. CM immediately discarded his ruined shoes but declined the gawdy shorts. Duck and CM bought some noodles and beer, waded back through the mud and rejoined the two young zealots. They sat on wet plastic under umbrellas eating their cold noodles, drinking beer listening to soaring speeches that neither farang understood. The crowd continued to grow.

All of a sudden SFG stood up and, with a manic look in his eye, declared we were to move closer to the stage. Duck tried to protest but to no avail thus the small patch of green above the sea of mud was abandoned and The Four struck out into the unknown. This decision by SFG proved the last straw for Duck. After a few minutes of trudging along behind he came to a resolute stop with mud over-topping his shoes and he refused, child-like, to proceed any further. When the others came back to him, he had decided it was time for him to return to paradise by the sea and a warm shower. The others look shocked at this display of weakness as there was still 4 more hours of speeches to go. Duck invited the other to stay but he was determined to leave. After some discussion of possibilities the four musketeers decided it was one for all and all for one and they began the slow trek back against the still arriving masses to try and find a taxi in the jammed soi.

Amazingly in all these miserable conditions, the Thai people were up-beat and friendly. After seeing TV coverage of the reds, Duck had formed opinions that were certainly dispelled by the warmth of the people he met this day.

In the taxi The Four all laughed over the day�s experiences and were happy to have taken part. Halfway home ItchyBum declared his damp jeans were causing posterior discomfort that required aggressive scratching. The 2 farangs were happy to oblige and thus ItchyBum received his nickname.

Another unforgettable time in the Land of Smiles.